Likely it is a moth and not a butterfly, but to me it felt like she was peeking in on us. Then, a little while ago I saw a cardinal outside our window. Some believe that cardinals are our deceased loved ones paying us a visit. I have never noticed them outside our home before, but now I notice them from time to time in our backyard, right outside the kitchen window where I sit to have breakfast with Joshua in the morning. I find my thoughts lingering on her more than usual today.
Occasionally before I write my blog posts I go back to the same time period in the previous year to see what I was writing about at that time. At this time last year, we were awaiting the arrival of my grandmother to celebrate Easter with us and looking forward to nicer weather. Ironically, as I was gathering my thoughts to write today, I was thinking about how much I enjoyed the nicer weather yesterday.
Yesterday after school Joshua, Samantha, and I walked to the park near our home. It was the first time we had walked to the park, as opposed to drive, since we have lived in this house. Embarrassingly enough, the park is less than a mile from our house. Anyway, we had a leisurely walk to the park and then enjoyed some time on the swings, playscape, and a small snack. On the way, Samantha commented about how nice it was to be able to walk to the park together. I think my heart literally leapt in my chest. There was no rush to any part of the outing. It was so nice and relaxed and I felt like I was able to enjoy this time in such a different way than I might have in the past. I think her comment validates her own sense of relief that our lives have calmed down over the past few months. I'm happy that she enjoys spending time together. Below are some pictures…
Last night Jason and I went out to watch the Dayton Flyers basketball game. We had intentions of staying to watch the Gator game, but it had gotten so late we decided to watch his game from home. It was nice to be able to spend time together on a whim. A couple of years ago I had been more actively involved in my alumni association. It was nice to be able to join them last night to watch the game. These seemingly simple events garner such strong emotions. Even as I sat there I could feel the tears coming. There are very few things in life that I am exuberantly passionate about, but the University of Dayton is one of them. I could write an entire blog just on my experience there. I loved it so much. Anyway, it was wonderful to be able to participate once again. I hadn't realized how much I missed being there.
We are now a house divided! Hopefully we'll both still be smiling after Saturday's game!
Tonight I look forward to taking the kids to the fish fry. It has become a lenten tradition for me and Samantha (and now Josh). This Lent has been unlike any other. I have made a real effort this year to focus on unnecessary eating - for many reasons, the least of which is actually my health. I had and still have a nervous habit of eating. So, I wanted to try to focus on breaking that habit, which half way through has gone pretty well. I have stopped eating after dinner, cut back on wine during the week, fast one day each week, and have started to decrease my portion size and stick to only one plate of food. It is mentally exhausting (unfortunately) trying to break the cycle of nervous eating, but I have made drastic improvement. It hasn't been a hard and fast (no pun intended) giving up of one thing. It has been an effort to change my thinking where food is concerned to try to make it more simple and functional. I have also been following the daily reflections sent out by Fr. Robert Barron. Many of them have been right on point for me and have been a great source of reflection over the past few weeks. If you happen to be looking for a jump start during Lent, I highly recommend them. They are short, sweet, and to the point.
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