Warm Snuggles

Today is a day that I have not looked forward to since we brought Alli back to the hospital.  On the one hand, I know she is in good hands with the doctors and nurses in the CICU.  On the other hand, I have been the constant in her medical care since she was born and it is difficult to relinquish that role to someone else, even for just a short period of time.  I actively participate in her care, even when she is in the hospital, and it makes me nervous to not be part of morning rounds and here to observe what goes on throughout the day, especially since this visit has been the most volatile.  Nonetheless,  I can't be in two places at once, and so we'll move forward and work together, and Jason will assume that role starting tomorrow.

This afternoon, our nurse and doctors agreed that I could spend some time holding Alli.  So, after her afternoon CPAP trial, the nurse and 2 respiratory therapists helped get Alli out of bed and she snuggled on my chest for almost 2 hours.  It was the one thing I wanted to make sure happened before I left her and it meant so much that they worked so hard to make it happen.  It was no small feat getting her in and out of bed with all of her various lines and tubes.  It was so peaceful sitting there with her while she slept on my shoulder.

In general, today was just an ok day for her.  She continues to progress through the CPAP trials, but they are having a hard time weaning her off of the dopamine (helps to regulate her blood pressure) and some of her other levels have been difficult to regulate.  She also spiked a fever tonight that they are trying to bring down with tylenol.  She also hasn't fully woken up.  She has moments of awake time and movement, but it is taking a long time for the sedative to work its way out of her system.

Earlier today I was able to spend some quality time with Samanatha.  It has been taking a long time for the CICU team to get through morning rounds, so after we finished up Alli's rounds, I went home to see what SJ was up to.  We read some books, did some puzzles, and had a lunch date at Panera (she - who am I kidding - we like the Macaroni and Cheese).  I was happy to have some alone time with her before the baby comes.

Our little guy arrives around noon tomorrow.  He has been snuggled, squished, and smothered by both of his sisters over the past 9 months.  I imagine he'll have a few things to say about it once he arrives.  Samantha has been talking to him periodically.  She calls him 'little man' and has introduced herself to him many times.  They have very sweet conversations.  She is so excited to meet him...as are the rest of us!  We are excited to introduce him to everyone tomorrow!

Goodnight!