Easter Reflections

It is Easter Sunday.  This has been a Lenten season that I will never forget and has been unlike any other in my 33 years of life.  As is customary at the beginning of Lent, I contemplated what I should sacrifice for the 40 days ahead.  Being pregnant and having already experienced a difficult couple of months with Alli, I had sort of made my peace with the fact that maybe I was already doing enough for Lent and I would pick up on the additional sacrifice next year.  Yikes!  Note to self: pick your own Lenten sacrifice, lest a more significant one will be chosen for you!

As I sat in mass this morning, with my grandma, I was filled with many different emotions.  I was disappointed in having missed out on several high points of the Lenten season.  I was grateful for Alli's good report this morning during rounds.  It felt like I was trying to catch up on the entire season in the hour I was there.  I cried at moments (this is actually not unusual for me - for whatever reason, I can cry in church at the drop of a hat - or a good hymn.  It is always the music that gets me.).  One moment that I remember being especially tearful was in the opening hymn.  I have included the lyrics below:

"But the pains which he endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation have procured; Alleluia!
Now above the sky he’s king, Alleluia!
Where the angels ever sing. Alleluia!"

And there it was.  For a moment I couldn't breathe.  I'm not going to draw connections between what we have endured with Alli and the Way of Cross (for my non-Christian/Catholic followers - the Way of the Cross refers to the events leading up to and including Jesus' crucifixion and subsequent resurrection), however, she has suffered over the past (almost) six weeks and we (Jason and I) have watched and allowed this to happen and it has been painful.  Deeply painful.  So, if not the parallel, why the emotion at this particular verse?  Jesus suffered and He has allowed Alli to suffer and He is with us guiding us through our own suffering.  It was a moment of humility.  There is nothing worse than watching your child suffer, but I can only pray that as we endure this we are working out our own salvation according to God's plan for us.   

This afternoon I made my daily trip to see Alli in the hospital.  They were finishing up her respiratory treatments as I arrived.  She doesn't like them and her protests are a good sign.  She is getting some feistiness back!  She managed to cough a few times following her treatment - this is excellent, as it helps her to clear her lungs.  Before I left, they offered to let me hold her for a few minutes.  I was anxious to have her in my lap.  It was nice to be able to hold her and comfort her for a few minutes.  A wonderful Easter gift.

We spent the rest of the day celebrating Easter at home.  Jason joined us for dinner and the Easter bunny made a late drop off at our house while we were eating.  So, he stayed a little longer while Samantha opened her goodies.  All things considered, it has been a nice holiday.  My mom prepared a fabulous dinner and we had a nice brunch earlier this morning.  We look forward to future holidays to be spent with our whole family.  Below are some pictures from the weekend.  I hope you enjoy them!