Birthday Gifts

Birthdays have always been big celebrations in my family. That doesn't mean they were always an extravagant affair, but they were always celebrated with family and friends. There was always cake and ice cream and plenty of special packages on that day. I am ashamed to admit that it was only in my more recent adulthood that I got over the whole 'special package' phenomenon. Who doesn't like a little birthday surprise? I still like it, I just don't place as much importance on it as I once did.

The attached photo is from Alli's birthday last year. What a celebration! As I prepared to celebrate Alli's birthday this year it started to occur to me that while we will have gifts for her today, she has given us (me, Jason, Samantha, Joshua, and everyone that knows, loves, cares, and prays for her) invaluable gifts over the course of her short life that could never be wrapped in a box with a fancy bow. They are wrapped in her very being. Her humble and often quiet suffering has taught us the following lessons...

1. We never give up on life. We were excited when we found out we were pregnant with Alli and no matter what challenge has been laid before us, medical or otherwise, we have always tried to act in a way that dignifies her life.

2. God is listening and does answer our and your prayers. There are days when we should be exhausted, frustrated, and ready to give up. It is on those days when your prayers sustain us and give us the strength, determination, and focus to keep moving forward. Alli's very life is a manifestation of prayer.

3. Humility. Alli's condition(s) have brought us in to a circle of life in which we can be nothing but humbled by the challenges and strength of the other children and families around us. There are plenty of days that we could sit and wallow in pity for her, however, on those days we look for everything about her that we have to celebrate....that she is getting stronger, that she is responding to therapy, that she is staring to become aware of her surroundings and her family, that her health is improving, that she is breathing without assistance. These are tremendous achievements for her.

4. Compassion. There are stories in the ICUs and rehab that would rip your heart right out of your chest.

5. Our hearts are forever changed by Alli. Jason is the greatest manifestation of this. He is a man that has always enjoyed and performed well in his work. He was eager to meet the needs of his clients and the firm. Always quick to pack up his computer and get off to the next meeting. While he remains focused and committed to that work, it is touching to see him pack up a little more slowly, linger at Alli's bedside, and be happy surrounded by his family - even if it is only for a short while each day.

I am sure there are many more gifts that I could and may add to this, but the bottom line is that the gifts she has given us these two short years pale in in comparison to any gift we could give her. I am certain that she is saving our very souls and keeps us focused on what is truly important in life.

So, happy birthday, Alli! I am so grateful for and humbled by your life and the lessons you impart on me every single day. I love you, sweet girl.