February 25

It is 11:00 and I am sitting with Alli in her hospital room.  In all fairness to Jason, he offered to switch places and let me sleep at home.  But, being here has been my routine and I want to carry it out as long as I can with her.  Just her presence brings peace and soothes the many worries that float through my thoughts.  It takes me back to the day she was born.  Post birth there was so much emotion and many many tears, but once I was with her in the NICU those tears subsided.  She brings great peace.  Today started somewhat the same way.  Last nights events were unsettling.  We have progressed to the point that Alli has to be intubated to fight a cold.  It isn't as if she has RSV or the flu - something that we have been warned would be truly catastrophic for her - she has a cold.  So, I was emotionally a little all over the place this morning, but that subsided once I was able to just sit with her in her room.  I would love to hold her and snuggle her.  She is a great snuggler.

We had hoped for a drama free day and for the most part succeeded.  She had one episode of dropping sats and blood pressure that involved a shot of epinephrine to reverse.  It was unnerving to hear them call for the crash cart.  I don't think anyone wants to hear that phrase used in reference to their child, spouse, or any other loved one.  Luckily, the epinephrine did its job and they didn't need to resort to those measures.  Later this afternoon, they put a catheter in to her lung to drain some residual fluid.  Since then, her sats have steadily improved and they have been able to come down slowly on the dopamine and epinephrine.  Her sats right now are 94 - the highest they have been all day.  I am hopeful that this will continue throughout the night.

They have sent numerous cultures off to the lab to check her infection levels.  They sent urine, lung fluid, and one other sample that I can't remember.  That should give us an idea of how things are progressing.  Depending on where she is in relation to the respiratory virus, it is possible that we have gotten over a hurdle, but there is no telling that for sure.  We just have to watch and wait.

Since I have been here tonight I have started to see her move her arms and legs from time to time.  Of course, given her oxygen situation, I am a little paranoid about whether we're seeing normal movements or movements reminiscent of spasms.  Once you've gone through infantile spasms, that just sort of goes with the territory.  Those little random jerks that children often make are no longer taken for granted with Alli.  Everything is analyzed as possible seizure activity.

Thankfully, our little guy is staying put right where he is.  I hope he is always this compliant. 

Samantha is doing well.  She has been asking more questions about Alli being sick.  Yesterday she asked Jason and me if Alli was sick because of her (Samantha's) sick hands.  We both immediately assured her that she had nothing to do with Alli being this sick. 

I will update more tomorrow.  Have a good night!